Transitioning: The Dark Days
by Adarlan's Assassin Celaena
Summary: My name is Clarissa Wilde. I was once human but I was killed tragically, only, I didn't stay dead. I have done terrible things and hurt innocent people, fell in love and learned to live a semi normal life. I am a vampire.


**T****ransitioning: The Dark Days**

***I do not own Stefan Salvatore, he is owned by L.J Smith, author of The Vampire Diaries books, and he is owned by the The Vampire Diaries TV show on the CW***

My name is Clarissa Wilde. I am sixteen years old, and as far as I know I have been for the last two hundred years. Impossible you may say, well what I am is impossible. What am I? I am a vampire.

Two hundred years ago, three days after my sixteenth birthday, I was on my way to a clearing in the woods to meet up with my boyfriend, Sam. We had been secretly seeing each other for a while because I knew mother and father would not approve. I never made it there, the last thing I remember is a shuffling sound, a growl and then it all went black.

This is the story of my transition from human to vampire. You will know the terrible things I have done, the hardships I have endured and you will meet the person who helped me through it. This is my transitioning, my dark days.

I awoke in the woods, wondering what the hell happened to me. The only thing I was aware of was the burn in my throat. I looked around as I stood up and continued toward the clearing. A soon as I got there I saw him, I saw Sam and smiled. He smiled back at me and ran over wrapping me in a hug and spinning me around. I smiled and then I felt a pain in my gums and the burning in my throat grew stronger. I tried to resist but I couldn't. I bit into his neck and sighed as the blood flowed into my mouth and I kept drinking even as he struggled and screamed for me to stop. I wanted to stop, to stop hurting him but I couldn't, all I could think about was the blood. By the time I had realized what I had done I had drank him dry. I killed him, I loved him and now he's gone.

I started to cry and I said, "No, no. Sam I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I don't know what wrong with me." I kissed his forehead and closed his eyes, "I love you, and I will always love you, but I can't do this. Not without you." That was when I realized it, I could turn it off, I could flip the switch. All at once everything I felt, sadness, happiness, hurt. It was nothing to me, I felt nothing, and every shred of emotion was completely gone. I was an emotionless vampire, and I was dangerous.

As so many years passed I made my way from town to town, from county to country living as I pleased and feeding from whomever was as unfortunate to be my victim. I had killed so many humans in cold blood and I didn't care, I had no emotions, I couldn't care.

One night, fifty years after my transformation I was stalking a young man while he was on his way home, hiding in the shadows waiting for the most opportune time to strike. Just as I was about to make this man my next victim I was stopped. A man had stopped me from killing this human.

He looked at me as if reading my thoughts and said, "You have surrendered your emotions to darkness. Why would you do such a thing young vampire?"

I looked at him and said, "You wouldn't understand, I did something I am not proud of and I can never feel that way again."

He cast his eyes down briefly and said, "I see." He looked back up at me and made a quick movement before everything went black.

I awoke later in a room I did not recognize. I sat up only to see the same man sitting in a chair at the foot of my bed and I said, "Where am I? Where have you taken me?"

He looked at me and said, "You are at my residence, I am going to help you to turn your emotions back on, a vampire without emotions is a lost cause and for someone as young as you I cannot let you turn out like so many others." He stood up and sat on the side of my bed. He took my hand and said, "My name is Stefan Salvatore." He kissed my hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

I looked at him and said, "Clarissa, Clarissa Wilde."

He nodded and said, "Look at me." He put his hands on either side of my face and said, "Tell me why you have abandoned your emotions."

I sighed, "I was sixteen, I was going to meet someone a few days after my birthday and I didn't make it there, at least not till later. I killed him, I drank him dry. I wanted to stop but I couldn't, I loved him and I killed him."

He nodded in understanding. From that point on for years I had lived with him and he helped me to regain my emotions as best as he could.

It took more time than he had hoped, fifty years and as my emotions were completely coming back I was in tremendous amounts of pain. All at once my emotions started to flood back in, the hurt, pain, sadness, guilt, everything was coming back. It felt like nothing was ever going to stop this pain.

He held me in his arms and said, "Clarissa, focus on one thought, just think about one thought a happy one and keep to it, it will help."

I nodded and took a few deep breaths as I focussed in on a thought and the pain slowly faded away. I looked up at him and smiled hugging him tighter.

He smiled at me and said, "Which thought did you choose Clarissa?"

I tilted my head slightly and said, "You, I choose you Stefan, you were my happy thought, you saved me, and you helped me, thank you for that."

He smiled and said, "You are ready to conquer the world on your own, you are free to leave whenever you please." With those last words he walked away leaving me standing on the foyer alone.

A couple days later I left. He was right, I was ready to go off on my own. I settled down in my home town, just outside of Alabama as it is now called. I survived by feeding off people and not killing them, just wiping there memory by feeding them my blood. It worked as I hoped it would have.

This life was what I had always hoped it would be, my emotions were mine again and I had regrets, like not going home, my parents had probably wondered what had happened to me, killing those innocent people and not telling William that I had fallen in love with him. I was scared to tell him, but I lost my chance, I had no idea where he had gone and if I would ever see him again.

I was soon able to find a way to make living so I seemed normal in my hometown, I got a job as a secretary, I worked in an office for small real estate business run by a man named, David Wilde, a descendant of mine so I had changed my last name, I was now going by Clarissa Salvatore, it was the only way to ensure that no one knew who I was.

A couple years after I had started my job someone came into the office looking to buy a house near the outskirts of town. I was just going on my break and wasn't paying attention as I bumped into him. I said, "I am so sorry, that way my" I was cut off when I was him and I said, "Stefan."

David said, "Ah yes, Miss Salvatore, I would like you to help this man to purchase the new house built next yours."

I nodded and said, "Of course, follow me." I closed the door to my office made sure the blinds were closed and threw my arms around Stefan in a hug, "I'm so happy to see you."

He hugged me back and said, "Clarissa, I've missed you."

I smiled and looked up at him. My smiled faded as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine in a soft yet passionate kiss.

I kissed him back wrapping my arms around his neck.

He pulled away and said, "Just as I suspected, you feel the same way."

I nodded and said, "Yes I love you."

Many more years had passed. Stefan and I are now happily married living in the house he bought on the outskirts of town. We are happy and will be forever.

My name is Clarissa Salvatore, I have been sixteen years old for two hundred years. I am a vampire.

5


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